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OK, The Gloves Are Off! 

B. K. Hart VP/FPM


Cary, Cary, quite contrary,

Why do you screw the masses?

We're not in the mood, For getting sued

So take the hint and BITE ALL OUR ASSES!


Sorry I'm late, y'all, but stuff happens. As you can see, FPM is sporting a new look, so it's just natural that we adopt a new attitude as well.

My first attack (yes, I said attack) is aimed at not-so-scary Cary (Sherman).

Buckle in kids, it's gonna get nasty from here. 

So you think you're all that now, right punk?

You can go out full tilt when it comes to beating up on little 12 year old girls, but you back down like a little bitch (no defamation intended, ladies) when it comes to going after the people who are REALLY responsible for that not-so-fresh feeling you've got in your rectum. The home entertainment industry is sitting back laughing their asses off at you and your witless legal tirades, running around beating up children because you don't have the heart (or the balls) to do battle with the big dogs.

I want to see you take on the inventor of the cassette recorder, or the developer of the old VTR, or maybe even the folks who put out the first consumer-grade CD burner. I want to see you take on TV, radio, sattelite and live venues, or even (dare I even speak it?) the computer industry itself. With all the money you've extorted from the public all these years, one would think you could afford the challenge.

But, NO! You and your geek squad of short-man-syndrome-afflicted mental midgets decided that by going after the consumer, you stand less of a chance of getting your financial asses kicked by companies with bigger feet than yours.

The thing that upsets me so much with that is that you laughingly defend your big extortion activities by associating it with the law. Wake the hell up, you bumbling idiot! We're not stupid. The laws you keep referring to have been in effect for years, possibly longer than your tender ass has been around, and up till now, no one has made a fuss about their music being copied and traded among young people on a regular basis.

Come to think of it, I've been a musician for over 30 years, but only over the course of the last year or so have I or any of my colleagues ever even heard of RIAA. So answer a few questions for all of us.


1.     Who the hell are you?

2.  What exactly is your function?

3.     What rock did you crawl out from under anyway?

4.     And who the hell put you in charge of music law enforcement?

(Before you step into the ring to fight, you better make damn sure you rank high enough on the card. Rookie!)


My second attack is directed at the artists who support the actions of this misguided group of misfit toy soldiers. Yeah, Madonna, DMX, Missy Elliot, I'm talking to you! And all the rest of you pampered little wannabe icons who keep bitchin' about people "stealing" your music. The way we see it, you've been stealing our money for years, serving up helping after helping of wretched refuse and sonic sludge, and selling it for outrageous sums of money. How dare you even think about lashing out at the very public who made your ungrateful ass! And that crap you're spittin' about how hard you worked to put your stuff out carries less and less weight as the years go by. Hell, there are better musicians and vocalists in the ranks of the REAL working class who work 10 times as hard for one tenth the recognition you get. And they are better than you are, too. Half of you are thieves anyway, living off of samples of other people's work.

All I gotta say to you is, you better wake up and smell what you've been shoveling. That organization that reps you is about to get you shelved.

Don't believe me?

OK, that's cool.

Read on.


My next message is for my fellow musicians out there struggling to be heard. Be patient, my brothers and sisters. The Machine (RIAA) is stepping on their peckers, and they're too stupid to realize it. Their tactics may damage the masses in the beginning, but in the long run, everyone they represent will fall in the wake of a major turnaround in the industry. Major artists and labels will fall like roaches in a Raid factory when we are done. Their money will not prevail because their money will be gone. They will sing and play their hearts out, but no one will hear. When they finally have to sell their "Cribs", they will realize that they never should have messed with the GP (general public).

Finally, my last message in this piece is to the throngs of consumers affected by this:

DAMN, I'm disappointed! You guys have the right idea about what should be done, but you fall short of doing it. Everybody is talking boycott, boycott, boycott, but I see no demonstrations in the media. The list of signatures on the petition isn't growing fast enough. If we want this thing to stop, big things have to be started. Picket your local record stores, demonstrate at the Wal-Mart, whatever non-violent measures it takes, 



Don't know how to get started?

OK, let me give you a start point.

Go to your local record store and find a CD you're thinking about buying. After spending an annoying amount of time hemming and hawing, take it to the clerk. Tell him or her you want the CD, but before you buy it, you want to hear it in its entirety first. Now one of two things will happen: they will play it or they will not. If they do not play it, just leave the CD and go somewhere else. Period. That is your first strike in the fight, and if enough people do that, it will make an impact. 

If the clerk does play the CD, first count the number of total songs on it. After it is done, determine how many of the songs were good. If the number of good songs equals more than half of the total number of songs, buy the CD. After all, we do want good music, right? That's what this thing is really all about anyway. We want to be fair. Do this with with every CD, tape, or album you intend to buy.

That is how to get it started. I would like to see this RIAA thing squashed for good, but the only way that will happen is with your active participation.

Do whatever it takes to get the point across that


(Cary, you better stock up on Rolaids and Vaseline, dude!)

It's about to be ON!



B. K.